Pages

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Fearing The Unknown

I am a planner.  Plain as that.  I want to know what's going to happen, when it's going to happen, and what is going to happen after it happens.  This year is a year of unknowns and I'm freaking out.

For as long as I've been alive I've always known what's next.  After third grade, I knew I had to switch schools.  After fifth grade, I knew I was going to the big middle school.  After eighth grade came the frightening high school.  Even though I didn't know what would happen in college I knew that I was going to Auburn after I graduated high school.  I came to Auburn knowing exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up.  After a year of struggling in classes that dream went away and new plans came into play very quickly (because not knowing scares the crap out of me).  After switching degrees, I began planning my future immediately to figure out where I would work and what I would be.

After two years of planning what I would be after graduation, I have no idea what those plans are and honestly  I don't think I ever knew what I wanted to do.  Graduation is less than 4 months away and I have no idea where I will be living, working, or doing with my life.  I guess this is suppose to be fun for some people but my personality doesn't care for this unknown at all.

I have no idea how to plan what will happen after May 6th because it isn't in my control.  The best thing I can do is hope that what I think I want to be and where I want to be will eventually fall into the "plan".

No comments:

Post a Comment