Set in My Old Ways

Humans are all creatures of habit.  I am especially.  I have been bitting my nails since I was in the second or third grade and had to wear fake nails for a year just so I would stop bitting them.  I'm a week strong so let's hope I will stop this disgusting habit.

Habits.  How do we break them? Are all habits bad? My habits seem to always be bad.  I have come to a realization that I'm not as good of a person as I believe myself to be.  I do the right things or so I think but I have some nasty habits that have to be broken.  I have the biggest attitude anyone could imagine.  I have always had an attitude, for as long as I can remember.  My parents have home videos of me acting like a complete brat.  In high school, I thought it was hilarious to show them, and now I'm so embarrassed by the way I acted and still do to some extent.  I always have to be right.  This might come with the attitude and that I'm a female but for some reason I cannot STAND to be wrong.  I always think my ideas are better than everyone else's, I always think the "facts" I state are right and most of the time they are completely off, and I absolutely hate to be beaten.  I also have a tendency to pitch a fit when I don't get my way.  So childish I know, but that's how bad I have to be right.  Lastly, I put people down for my own pleasure.  I hate admitting this because I feel I am such a people person and always try to make other people happy.  This flaw has slowly started to get better but I'm still hurting the people I love most.

So how do I change this stuff? Most of these things have been habits since I was four years old.  These problems are not good.  It is not very grown up of me to be acting in these manners.  I am completely disgusted with myself because I have found myself being completely selfish.  I have been doing some deep soul searching this weekend and still can't find a way to make all these things better.  I hope it changes soon and I will continue to pray that it does.  I don't want to be this way anymore.  It's time to be an adult and handle problems in adult ways.

Searching for answers,

Kayla